How to Kill a Euro Dance Party

1) Observe many underaged Spanish girls dancing wildly.

2) Decide to be retro (in honor of the recently married groom.)

3) Decide early R.E.M. is a good era to represent.

4) Find out the DJ has no "End of the World as We Know It"

5) Settle for "Losing My Religion (Nuevo Remix)"

6) Wait for said "Nuevo Remix" to come on.

7) Literally watch the lithe, ripe, undulating, underaged Spanish girls stop undulating and go back to their tables as the song you selected starts playing.

8) Sulk.